Gnack Attack

Storytime with Microwave

2007-06-07T11:19:00.000+10:00

Sitting at work browsing the SomethingAwful forums is something I do basically every day. THIS particular day, however, I had the good fortune to stumble upon this thread.

It was originally a challenge to draw couches in their natural environment, but got incredibly derailed when Microwave began to post a series of pictures depicting a story that progressed according to the directions of other forum members. This is the result... (Relevant quotes included).

Dig in the cushions and see if you can get any equipment.

NOW LIGHT THAT MOTHER ON FIRE!

Move left!

Search the drawers!

Check the pot for hidden stash!

Redecorate!

Is it some kind of brochure or a cell phone?

Break off the top of the tree and use it as a green hat.
Set everything on fire.

Doesn't make sense, go left.

Try talking to the beet! In sign language.

Looks to me like something that needs to be kicked.

Looks more like a trans-dimensional portal to me. Go in.

Bang on the door!

Melt the steel door.

And create a large sword to go with your bush helmet.

Go right and see if there's something you can stab.

Push the button, then ask to be buzzed in.

Fuck Couchopia! Curbstomp that motherfucking box!

The box has clearly angered us! Use the sword to take the bitch down!

Eat a zesty nachos.

Carve up the box, he needs a mighty suit of armor.

Use the nacho as a surfboard.

To the right! The cushions must be found (and burned)!

The only choice is to check the cushions, take them, then burn the rest.

Give the couch your shrub hat. He clearly wants it, as it matches him.

Hit pause and find out the no-clip code on GameFAQs.

I think it's time for an ice cold Bud! As soon as we save, of course. Who knows where this party's going!

Well, if we're cheating, use the code ~couch_potato to get the secret weapon.

Say something witty before shooting it.

Using no_clip go fly through some walls until we see the princess or end boss so we can beat the game.

Take her crown. Then declare yourself ruler of this world.

Princess has a touch of the Down's I see, so I think you should be nice and take her crown for safekeeping and then give her a delicious potato, the only way you know how.

Powerhouse-kick her in the throat, then dive into her portal mouth.

QUICK JUMP INTO HER MOUTH BEFORE IT CLOSES!

I think it's time to do the e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-electric slide.

Pop bloodrage and mortal strike the door. (Unfortunately, Microwave doesn't seem to play WoW).

Step back through the portal. (Can't, it's solid).

Drink whatever's in that bottle. Maybe it will make you big!

What the fuck? Eat the bowling pin.

Make stilts from the ladder and move ahead right.

Stick your head in any one of those slots.

~deus_ex_machina

Punch yourself in the face for making such a grievous error.

Well, since we're damn cheaters:

~CONSOLE
~SPAWN_RED_COUCH_001

Quick, insert the green cushion before someone tells you to do something utterly stupid again!

Insert a red cushion! And search the red couch for healing items, you're still bleeding! Quick!

There's no way that machine can tell what color cushion you are putting in it, just put all the cushions from the red couch in the holes and see what happens.

Great! Now go through the door!

Oh dear. Form the pieces into something; be creative.

Grab the piece that looks like a paper plane, make one of the other pieces into a little paper pilot and have him be your escort in this new frontier.

Does your escort see anything outside the frame that looks interesting? We should follow him there if so.

Peel the paper up. Is there anything interesting underneath it? (Nope)

Draw a face on little dude, he's pretty creepy as is.

Keep going right!

Don this set of armour, rise to your rightful place as hero and saviour of this world of fractions.

A Mote of Dust, Suspended in a Sunbeam

2007-06-05T13:09:00.000+10:00

The earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that in glory and in triumph they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot.

- Carl Sagan

Through centuries past, great leaders have reigned and fallen, incredible cities have been built and razed, wars have been fought, won and lost, men and women have lived, loved, lost, loathed, languished in agony and wept with joy. There have been tragic events that have shaken the world, there have been attrocities that have made thousands weep the world over - briefly unified by their sorrow. There have been awe-inspiring achievements, people marvelling, united as one human race to watch one of us, a lowly human, step foot on Earth's closest companion, the Moon. There have been people who have come and gone, leaving no mark on the world. There have been others who have shaken the very foundations on which the Earth stands.

Somewhere along this immense timeline you have been given an existence - so fleeting, but it is all that you will ever know, and all you require. During your entire life you will experience an incredible range of emotion, you will feel passionately for ideals that seem so amazingly trivial in the grand scheme of things. You will overlook things that seem so amazingly important. You will smile, frown, laugh and cry. You will work, play, succeed and fail. You will love. You will hate. You will grow, mentally and physically. You will learn. You will feel the thrill of importance, and the deep disappointment of insignificance. You will experience such incredible joy - so much joy you can't help but burst out laughing. You will experience heart-wrenching despair. Remorse.

During all this, you will only occassionally pause to consider - perhaps cynically, perhaps with child-like wonder - that everything I've just mentioned happened on nothing more important, nothing more significant in the overwhelming expanse of the Universe, than a speck of dust in a sunbeam. Take a look at the picture in this post. That tiny little speck you see is Earth, shot by Voyager I across the vast emptiness of space. I'd like to summarise using the amazing description of this photo given by Carl Sagan:

We succeeded in taking that picture [from deep space], and, if you look at it, you see a dot. That’s here. That’s home. That’s us. On it, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever lived, lived out their lives. The aggregate of all our joys and sufferings, thousands of confident religions, ideologies and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilizations, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every hopeful child, every mother and father, every inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every superstar, every supreme leader, every saint and sinner in the history of our species, lived there on a mote of dust, suspended in a sunbeam.

The earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that in glory and in triumph they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of the dot on scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner of the dot. How frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds. Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity — in all this vastness — there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves. It is up to us. It’s been said that astronomy is a humbling, and I might add, a character-building experience. To my mind, there is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly and compassionately with one another and to preserve and cherish that pale blue dot, the only home we’ve ever known.

Superhero Saturday: Zeitgeist

2007-05-26T08:36:00.000+10:00

Muggings taking place left, right and centre, drunken idiots roaming around at night causing trouble and so many knife attacks its unbelievable. I believe that people are being allowed to continue like this due to the apathy of people as a whole.

- Zeitgeist

The third in my series of superhero interviews, meet Zeitgeist. As usual I was pleased with the responses provided. Zeitgeist was well-spoken, clear-minded and thoughtful in all his answers. Thank you, Zeitgeist, for taking the time to provide these responses.

Zeitgeist is a German phrase meaning spirit of the times. What is it about this phrase that appealed to you, and how do you feel it relates to your superhero life?

I came across the word Zeitgeist during my studies in the German language a while ago. After doing some research into the meaning of it, I took it as my superhero name.

The name Zeitgeist defines me as a superhero in that I act like a spirit- an unseen, unheard being who sees everything, performs definite and meaningful actions, and who is ready to shift and develop with the times.

On your MySpace profile you mention a few of the activities you've helped to clean up around your area - including, but not limited to, a bar that was allowing underage drinking. In a world that is becoming so apathetic, how do you stay inspired?

Basically just stuff in my local area drove me to take a wider look at society as a whole, and it is not a pretty sight. Muggings taking place left, right and centre, drunken idiots roaming around at night causing trouble and so many knife attacks its unbelievable. I believe that people are being allowed to continue like this due to the apathy of people as a whole- they are so calm about these unacceptable things and take them in their stride. I’m here to do what I can with my local area and country to put a stop to wrongdoings in any way I can.

The world is not beyond saving, it just requires the motivation of all people to have a proper conscience and awareness to their surroundings and to just do their bit. I become inspired to help every time I look at society.

Many superheroes are quite protective of their real identities. Is this something you worry about? I notice your MySpace says you're 81 and has no photos!

I take all sorts of steps to hide my identity- for example, I patrol in civilian clothes so as to not draw attention to myself, my “uniform” as such is only used on specific missions when I need to blend into the darkness. I also put different ages on different profiles on websites and so on.

Sorry about the lack of photos- it’s just not a priority of mine at the moment =).
My family have no idea, but I have a couple of friends who I truly trust with the information on what I do, particularly so that I can actually have someone to sit down and talk to about this stuff.

Whether you're Spiderman, Superman or a real life superhero like Entomo the Insect-Man, a costume seems to be a staple part of the superhero persona. Do you have a costume?

Well yes I do, but it is only used on specific tasks where I need to be silent and blend in with the shadows- it consists (at the moment…it will probably be updated in the future) of a black long-sleeved t-shirt, black combat trousers, black semi-soft soled boots, black gloves and a black balaclava. I am currently working on getting my symbol embroidered onto the chest of the t-shirt.

A number of the superheroes I've talked to seem to quite enjoy the odd gadget or two. From pepper spray, to tazers, what do you use to help you get the job done?

Well… I personally rely on the police to do a lot of the dirty work- my mobile phone comes in useful for placing anonymous tip-offs with the police to get the job done and dusted. I also carry a notepad and pen in order to record my findings and a pair of binoculars to stay out of the direct line of fire yet still see things in details.

I have not yet had to use force to get the job done- I try and avoid situations like that.

In five years time, do you think the world will be better off? Or worse?

Hopefully, I believe the world will be a better place, but I am no psychic. I believe with the gradual growth of movements such as ours and the improvement of eco-friendly gadgetry and power, things should brighten up in the future, though five years may be a little too near in the future to see such great change. I believe that more and more people will see the developing apathy in society and do more and more to help.

I suppose this question is rather related to the last: what role do you think superheroes will play in the future of the world? There are superheroes the world over, are there enough to make the world a truly better place?

As I mentioned before, our movement is growing steadily, at the moment there are relatively few of us, but I think we shall continue to grow steadily and be a great force for good in the world in the future.

I personally want to do as much as I can to help people, and hopefully the people that I help will understand how it feels to be helped and then go on to help others themselves. A bit like a ripple effect.

Many superheroes claim to possess extraordinary powers or in some cases, superhuman faculties (increased strength, awareness...) Do you have any you would like to share?

Haha, no I’m afraid I don’t possess any special superhuman faculties. I’m a normal guy trying to train myself up to be the best I can be and just help others in any way I possibly can.

As I mentioned in my interview with Entomo, many superheroes suffer from flaws that ultimately show that even a superhero has challenges to face. Do you have any flaws?

Good question - I am quite unsure as to how to answer. There is nothing that can threaten my passion for doing what I do as long as I have the continued support of all the other heroes out there. Without their support, I would be nothing.
So I’d like to thank all the other RLSH’s out there for all their help and continued friendly support.

If you were to provide the world with one message, what would it be?

Basically just take a look around you. See what you can do to help others and just do it. Even if it means just giving a simple smile to somebody who looks down, it might make them be more positive for the rest of the day. Also don’t be afraid, people prey on fear and use it to try and leech off the innocent. If you are not afraid then they have nothing to use against you- think about it.

Superhero Saturday: The Symbiote

2007-05-19T14:10:00.000+10:00

Heroes are the light, all you have to do is step into it. We are your guides into the life you were supposed to have.

- The Symbiote

Yes, yes I know, this article is very late! But never fear, I intend to hit the deadline each week from now on.

This week I'm featuring a young man who goes by the superhero name of The Symbiote. He's 16 years old but seems far ahead of his age in his ideals and practices. I found The Symbiote to be very open to inquiry, and pleasant to talk to. I hope you enjoy reading the responses as much as I did.

Your superhero name is The Symbiote. How did you come up with this name?

My name comes from the Symbiote from the Spiderman universe, it means ultimately that as a Symbiote I attach to society to make it better such as in a symbiotic relationship.

Being 16 years old, you are the youngest superhero I've yet encountered. Most kids your age are more worried about the latest music, TV shows, movies, and games. Why is it you've risen above those preoccupations?

It's not really about how I began as such, 'cause that started in 5th grade, just I didn't actually begin to patrol until last Christmas Eve. I have a natural passion for helping others, it's kinda like my personal calling. It makes me feel good knowing that myself and others are there to shine as lights in this world for those people who actually need it. You're right, it's not often we see these kind of traits in a young kid, but as far as I am concerned there is no such thing as age among heroes.

Who would you describe as your major inspiration in the real life superhero community?

I look up to, and admire Cpt. America. Tothian [note: I will also be interviewing Tothian in this series, stay tuned!], Master Legend and Super Hero are my mentors or teachers of sorts. As for actual combat training, I just learned that growing up. My older brother used to beat up on us, so I learned at a young age how to fight.

Since a costume is basically a necessary part of being a superhero, you must have one, right?

Well we don't like the word costume we prefer gimmick or uniform. As for mine it's mainly just the muscle shirt you see with my logo and the hood. Other than that I have my utility belt. All other pieces shift depending on what kind of weather or feeling I am having that night.

My uniform is like a flashlight, it's dull when I am just normal, but when I am heroing people see it and it flashes and attracts them.

Do you wear your costume while out on patrol?

Yes, always, even at school and public functions. You can never know when things will heat up.

Do you carry any weaponry with you while you are on patrol? Any self defense gadgets?

My baton is my trademark item. I have 5 different types of baton. All for differnet occassions. I carry a flashlight and multi-tool. Occasionally a set of handcuffs. Texas handcuffs come with me too. I have a notepad and pen to write notes down, and I am developing a mini-grapple system.

Have you ever had to use any of the equipment to defend yourself, or others?

Yes, myself mainly. Only one time have I had to defend another.

Do your parents know about your alternative lifestyle?

Nope lol. My mom may think I am nuts but would support me, and my dad would just laugh unfortunately.

Everyone has a differing opinion of what is right and what is wrong. What or who would you say has shaped your moral framework the most?

I have always been able to shadow people well, and I learned from people how to be right or wrong along with my parents and their classic style of parenting. I have the manners of someone from the 1950's!

Superman has kryptonite, do you have a weakness?

I dont know of any actual weaknesses at this point but everyone has one, I just haven't found it yet. As for an arch-enemy there is actually a main group of drug dealers in a local school. They have been the basis of my operation for the most part.

In ten years time, do you see yourself being a superhero still?

In ten years I shall still be a hero; actually until I die I will be a hero. In ten years I hope to bring my town - and the areas around it - out of fear, out of despair. I want to get rid of the drugs and gang activity. The cult I have found I want to be eradicated if they are dangerous. I just want to clean up this town no matter how long it takes 10 years or 100.

Finally, if you could proclaim a single message for the entire world to hear, what would it be?

The world today is corrupt, and dark. People have lost sight of what is true justice and why we need to be in the light. Drugs, Alcohol, and Money rule our world which is the biggest crime today. It's easy to drop to the dark but it's not the right thing to do. We need to pull ourselves from ignorance and intollerance. People are begging for a light and we need one. That's why we do what we do. Heroes are the light, all you have to do is step into it. We are your guides into the life you were supposed to have. We may be "Different" but is that a bad thing? I dont think so, in fact I think its the best thing. Fear the day that the lights all go out and the dark takes over completely.

Superhero Saturday: Entomo the Insect-Man

2007-05-12T12:45:00.000+10:00

This is my life. I can't permit other lives, people who chose different paths, to interfere with my path. We're connected, but still independent. It's a delicate game of balances. Welcome to human existence.

- Entomo the Insect-Man

This is the beginning of the first ever regular feature here at Gnack Attack. Every Saturday I will be adding an interview with a real life superhero. If you're already confused, you should catch up by reading my initial superhero post. I have approached a number of real life superheroes for interviews and due to time zone differences, among other variables, the style of each interview will likely be slightly different. Some interviews will be done in the style of a questionaire through email. Some will be done in a more true-to-form interview style through chat software. This, my first superhero interview, was conducted by email.

The first superhero to be interviewed is Entomo the Insect-Man. To find out more about Entomo, you can visit his MySpace page. Before I get straight into the interview I'd like to express my gratitude to Entomo for agreeing to this interview. His answers were concise, sincere and well-thought out. So thank you Entomo! And now, without further ado...

First things first, lets talk pseudonyms. Your superhero name is Entomo the Insect-Man. Tell us a bit about why you chose this name.

The name has born in my mind about 4 years ago. Now that I think about it, it was in the middle of 2003. I was studying anthropology at the time. Well, the name just sprouted from my thoughts, spontaneously. I was trying to define myself, trying to understand more about myself. At the time, I didn't know anything about the [Real Life Superhero (RLSH)] movement in America, I never even suspected that it existed. I only knew of Super Barrio Gomez in Mexico, and that was about it.

When I first thought about the "Entomo" Superhero name, it was like: "Great. That's myself, truly. If one day I'd become a Superhero, that will become my nom de guerre. But that day is impossible". I discarded the idea as soon as it was born in my mind.

Now, that day has come; nothing is impossible.

You have asked that I recognise you as an ecologist/activist/animalist first and foremost. It seems as though you have a very general interest in helping not just humanity, but the world in its entirety. This is something that many people respect but few act on. You have acted - why?

The desire to help the entire world was always with me, since I was a kid. I was just too weak to perform my role as a child. I started to "build-up" my persona and my physique when I turned 18. So it was a gradual process, still on-going. Now I'm strong enough to make the difference if given the chance. It's something you "sense" as being inside yourself, a mechanism.

Without such incredible mechanism, I couldn't work.

I could not care that much about humanity as long as our world has been rendered uninhabitable by its inhabitants. I mean, our Earth is a living being. We must treat our world like a person.

The life of a superhero is often shrouded in mystery and secrets. Are you particularly worried about hiding your identity?

No Superhero group at the time, I'm thinking about assembling potential Italian Real Life Superheroes and start one myself. It will take a lot of time, but I don't care.

My "civilian" identity is just an enhancement of the most human part of myself. Of course, only my girlfriend and some friends (two so far) know about it. They are very supportive. Basically, my "civilian" identity is just an overplaying, but not a mystification. It's not like Clark and Superman, to draw a parallel with comic books. Clark is a carefully constructed disguise.

My two lives are not separated. I just live twice.

Many superheroes claim to have powers or talents that the general population rarely shares, what about you?

As kid, I didn't realize the whole thing. I lacked focus, of course. They are not "superpowers" in the strict meaning of the word, but not "ordinary" faculties either. This is Real World, and I'm in the middle.

They are a natural part of me, like breathing or sleeping. I just let them grow in myself as time went on.

Well, if I have to describe what I can do, that's tricky. It's like I'm in tune with something greater than me, what I use to call "the spectrum". Every time I interact with life - and, for instance, nature - something "vibes" in my physique in total harmonical conjunction with the "spectrum". My insect-like features are just physiological answers to dozen of questions life poses to my body in a day. My faculties are all enlisted here: http://entomo.wikispaces.com.

My "talents", as you wisely put it, are many. Let's say I mimic some qualities belonging to the insect world. Sometimes, I am myself amazed at what I can do. My principal weakness is that "I" come and go, in the sense sometimes I'm broken and my faculties seem to have vanished. As an intermittence of some sort.

It seems as though it is standard practice for superheroes to go on patrol looking for crimes to solve or people to help - is this something you also do?

I've just debuted. I did some patrols in the past, as a civilian. I'm more a "watcher" than a crimefighter, but I can fight... and very well. Give me a worthwhile opponent. I think the whole purpose of the patrols is adverting police at the right time, and do some of the work by yourself. It's a collaboration, you know. I'm going to collaborate with police as long as they collaborate with me. It's a mutual affair.

If you have one chance to tell the entire world one message...

"If you don't care for this marvellous and unpredictable planet, then you're not caring for yourself.
All small and big lives are connected to the pivotal life of this globe. All small and big pasts are connected to the pivotal future of this globe.
Don't act as a parasite... act as a worthwhile life."

The message speaks for itself.

A lot of people are going to write you off as a crazy guy in a costume.

I don't care. This is my life. I can't permit other lives, people who chose different paths, to interfere with my path. We're connected, but still independent. It's a delicate game of balances. Welcome to human existence.

I have a mission. The costume is just a part of said mission. An integration.

I have no trouble with wearing my costume in public. Somehow, it's part of me. It's the better way to be "exposed", because I'm actually "exposing" the most important and fascinating part of me.

Every superhero has to have a nemesis, a supervillain counterpart, even if this supervillain is simply crime itself.

I don't know how to answer to this. I don't know if, at this point, I "need" an archenemy to focus myself even more... we'll see. I'm ready to go.

I can only say that an "opposing" counterpart is a natural progression of the resonance we have in the world around us. It's exponential.

You, like any superhero, have a costume to go with your superhero persona...

My costume is partly green because green is the most incredible manifestation of nature. Even many species of insect show green in their chromatic palette, which is a true miracle. I still wear what I call my "Beta Version Outfit", or even "First Bite". It's a prototype. I'm going to wear a more sophisticated mask and suit in the weeks to come.

My symbol is a stylized capital sigma resembling an hourglass; representative of the summation of insect-like features I incorporate into myself - into my genetic code. An hourglass because it's time to do something; time needing to be spent doing something to make the present state of the Earth much better than what it is. Additionally, some species of black and brown widows present on their abdomen the shape of an hourglass.

One of the most engaging things about any good superhero is their flaws and weaknesses - their ability to appear so very human to us.

I agree with you. Being a Superhero is just... well, a magnification of human nature. Not a re-arrangement, or a travesty. It's a magnification of something that is already present in human nature.

I have flaws, but they are part of me. They aren't "mistakes" to fix, rather natural "losses". I can deal with them.

Finally, I thank you because you're an exponent of the bright side of the "new generation" of young people out of there, and I'm honoured to promote my movement among you all.

I inject justice.

Entomo.

Real Life Superheroes

2007-05-08T11:32:00.000+10:00

Emotionally, it's really raw. Imagine the powerful rage when someone crosses the passion between a man and a woman or a man and his city.

- Frank Miller

Everyone knows about Batman. Everyone knows about Spiderman, Superman and the Incredible Hulk. Superheroes, by now, are well known and adored by adults and children alike. But there are some superheroes you may not have heard about. Names you may not recognise and more importantly, a distinction you may not be aware of. These superheroes are people - just like you and I - who have taken on superhero identities to fight crime and protect the people.

These are real life superheroes.

The message here seems simple enough, and certainly righteous. In many areas of the world crime is out of control and has been for far too long. What the world needs is an increased awareness of criminal activity and most importantly - a shedding of the apathetic attitude shared by so many of today's youth. This point was raised recently by the tragedy of the VirginaTech shootings when many in the media criticised the students for not fighting back.

In a life threatening situation it is becoming more and more common for people to simply accept what is happening and wait for it to be over. People will find injured or dead people and tell no one, they will look away and pretend they saw nothing. Apathy is being spread throughout an entire generation of people raised to be pen pushing executive types. These real life superheroes have taken it upon themselves to bring about a paradigm shift in the way the general populace views crime.

Whether they succeed or fail, whether their method is right or wrong, their cause is certainly noble. Though donning a costume and gadgets may seem a little kooky, one can hardly fault them for taking a stand.

In the following weeks I will be interviewing a number of these superheroes and posting the interviews here. We will be introduced to the likes of The Symbiote, Tothian, Mr. Silent and more. Maybe amidst the apparent strangeness of this relatively new sub-culture, there's an important message to be found. Stay tuned.

The Collapse of Critical Thinking

2007-04-24T08:47:00.000+10:00

Faith is the great cop-out, the great excuse to evade the need to think and evaluate evidence. Faith is belief in spite of, even perhaps because of, the lack of evidence.

- Richard Dawkins

Before I begin, I suppose I have an obligation to provide a working definition of 'critical thinking' so there is no room for confusion. I'll provide here the very definition provided by CriticalThinking.org: Critical thinking is the intellectually disciplined process of actively and skillfully conceptualizing, applying, analyzing, synthesizing, and/or evaluating information gathered from, or generated by, observation, experience, reflection, reasoning, or communication, as a guide to belief and action.

That's simple enough right? To paraphrase; critical thinking is the process of collecting information and evaluating it logically. It's a healthy and fulfilling way to approach problems and situations, and if there ever was a 'right' way to think, this is it. Critical thinking helps to weigh pros against cons so that you can find genuinely beneficial solutions. Simply put, critical thinking = yay. We get that right? Good.

We live in the technology age. An age where machines with ridiculously flawless logic circuits are living in an incredible 70% of Australian homes*. The idea that people can even now be abandoning the processes of critical thinking is beyond belief, but still, they are.

I was reading a thread on the SomethingAwful Forums just yesterday where someone was suggesting that their house may be haunted. I'm unsure of this person's age, but they are old enough to be living independantly, suggesting at least 18, definitely old enough to know better. Their reason for believing that ghosts may be haunting their house? One of the windows kept opening itself and he heard rustling in the night. As you can imagine the critical thinkers quickly piped up explaining that the rustling was likely rodents, and the window opening was probably caused by counterweights becoming too heavy for the window**. As a firm believer in the strength of critical thinking I was incredibly disappointed that this person's first response was "OMG GHOSTS".

It's this kind of problem that really worries me. There are an unfathomable number of people who have no understanding of the world around them, or the scientific advances made in uncovering our history. The very idea that anyone can still discount evolution as a fallacy is mind-boggling. The information, the evidence is all out there - how can these people be so ignorant to the world around them? We have this shit creeping into our schools masquerading as science, when in fact NONE of it follows the scientific process (which of course involves the requirement that evidence be given for one's conclusions. This is difficult to do when in fact your conclusion is a load of shit).

There's so much to cover in this topic, I wish I had more time to address it. At some stage I might come back and expand this item, because there is a LOT to be said here. For now though, I'll leave you with another quote from a legendary biologist well ahead of his time:

Science is simply common sense at its best that is, rigidly accurate in observation, and merciless to fallacy in logic.

- Thomas Henry Huxley

* Statistics gathered from the Australian Bureau of Statistics.

** In old houses, the windows are usually constructed with counterweights that are concealed in the wall on either side of the window in an effort to aid opening of the window. As the house ages the window rots, warps or gets eaten by termites. As a result, the counterweights become too heavy for the window, and tend to open it by themselves. A simple adjustment of the weights involved usually corrects the problem.

Welcome to GnackAttack

2007-04-23T15:06:00.000+10:00

I'm often asked the question, "Do you think there is extraterrestrial intelligence?" I give the standard arguments -- there are a lot of places out there, and use the word billions, and so on. And then I say it would be astonishing to me if there weren't extraterrestrial intelligence, but of course there is as yet no compelling evidence for it. And then I'm asked, "Yeah, but what do you really think?" I say, "I just told you what I really think." "Yeah, but what's your gut feeling?" But I try not to think with my gut. Really, it's okay to reserve judgment until the evidence is in.

- Carl Sagan (The Burden of Skepticism)

Welcome to my new blog and this, the obligatory welcome post. I began this whole stupid blog thing a couple years ago when blogs were still called 'weblogs' and they were still used to document progress on a developer's project(s). Now-a-days they're used for basically anything and everything, and though at first I detested it, I've now found a ridiculous amount of energy for wasting everyone's time with boring details about my opinions on basically everything.

I started by constructing my own blog using PHP. At this stage I hadn't even heard of MySQL and I was actually considering using a flat-file system for storing posts. Thankfully I moved into the big wide world of databases and things started to become more realistic. I developed my first blog (still called weblog, I refused to abbreviate) and called it something ridiculously plain like "Nick's Weblog" or something. I don't remember and frankly I'm happy to keep it that way. At that time proper OOP hadn't been implemented into PHP - PHP v5.0 was certainly no more than a rumour. I'm pretty sure the actual programming behind my blog was disgracefully procedural. Which is fine in some circumstances, but really... this was ridiculous.

Sure enough I kept playing around and developed my first object oriented blog! It had classes! It had post objects, comment objects, user objects, page objects... But it was still shit. It was fun to play around with though, and I felt a certain amount of pride for what I had accomplished with my meager PHP skills.

The object oriented version of my blog went through a huge number of revisions and rewrites and still mostly exists today at http://users.bhills.net/~gnack/. I don't update there, and my domain name 'gnackattack.com' is currently down due to a distinct lack of payments to my host on my behalf.

Fast forward to today, and here I am at work looking for something to do. I now have a full time job as database support for a software development company. Because of this I don't have a lot of spare time and what spare time I do have I prefer to spend away from the machines that plague my 9 -5 existence. The solution? A premade blogging site. I have indeed sunk to all new depths! Hopefully I can at least make an effort to keep this updated.